turning to butterfly

last wednesday, im having screening session at SKIM UTAMA,Kuantan.. yes, a Screening program.. and yes.. I need to do this, and yes, I'm turning to be a butterfly now...

this is a moment that I wait since i was a first year student, I do remember how I do pray to enter the clinical session back there.. tak sabaw becoming a senior.. and of course, becoming somebody.. a professional

this is a moment when I need to apply what I did study@learn in this 2 years, apply all the theory that had been as our food for this past 2 years..

this is a moment when I'm doing testing to the real patient, and in this case, screening the standard 4 student..

what a precious moment, i wont forget the time..

when, i start to shake, holding the otoscope..

when, i start to talk to real patient.. ( which is a Teacher)

when, i start to test a real patient.. (which is a nurse)

when i start blank. when Sr.Nah asking me about the static compliance on the tympanometer

huh,, what a relieved.. I will always remember that

experience is a best teacher.. and I admit that.. it make me aware.. make me learn.. teach me something.. communication skills is the most important.. yes.. I need to improve that..

i do remember, sr. Nah saying, "izat, don't be too formal, u look rigid".. I won't use that "bertenang" word anymore"!! hehehee..

Thanks a bunch..

I will always remember how Sr.NAH teach me

I will always remember how Sr.NAH dealing with the patient..

I will always remember where I need to change the diagnostic mode to screening mode

I will always remember what is the normal static compliance value..

I will always remember to use.. "test ni tak sakit, adik duduk tenang jer"

I will always remember, to calibrate the equipment before starting a test..

I will always remember how Sr. R asking the patient, giving the result.. and share her thought

how she handling with the aggressive student.. how she talk to them, build a rapport with them..

I do learn something.. something priceless..

a friends.. a teacher.. thankS!!

Ibu pray for me.. on march I will enter the clinics..

it's not a screening mode, but a diagnostic part~~~ I will always remember~~ Im turning into a butterfly now.. hopefully a beautiful one!!

izzat

gambang water park~~

at last.. there's a time where i can spend off.. rest, play, enjoy, and of course, to have some fun.. leaving around all the pressure, tears, behind..

on 21st FEB 2010..

we're going to gambang!!!!!! we're not even planning a moths before, or even a weeks before.. it's only 2 day's bfore.. huhuhuu..

and,, on the day,, me, gee, jebon, xana, arifah, ayu, huda and lyanna.. the 8 of us will going to GAMBANG WATERPARK~~~

we arrive at gambang on 945am.. and having our breakfast there.. of course, i felt excited.. doesnt concentrating with the nasik lemak and teh ais in front of me.. heheee.. so exciting.. waaa~~ i did remember on how, i pull my friend hand, begging.. "koko,, jomla mandi..", " koko,, cepatla makan.. "

hehehe... a beautiful moment, that i'll always remember..

luckily, on that day.. the place doesnt been raining by the people.. not too crowded.. not too many people... yes, we're having our own place,, our own privacy.. huuhuuu.. enjoying the day.. without much problems.. thank God.. such a great place here.. with all the beauty of your creation..

my favorite place... even when there's a sign "for kids only".. pedulilakan~~ hey,, i had pay rm20 for entering this water park kay~~

dush>>> about 10 glen of water there.. it 's hurt, off corse.. the smile never goes~~

aksi kuak lentang.. hehehe.. see everybody seems shock looking wht im doing~~

tQ guys.. for this great momment.. grad t kiter pegi lagi (0_o).. for my sugar-Gurl..hehe.. thanks beb.. what a beutiful gift (0_V)

~at last___ FINAL

my cousin'wedding turn to be the most worst day in my life. why im saying so? on 13 feb, we bring DAS to see Raja's father.. and, he said that, the water pump is leak.. and we need to find the spare part!! how the hell we want to find it?? it's Chinese New year.. ya.. CNY!!!!! most of the owner is Chinese, and of course they were in holiday hour.. huwaaaa... i'm worried.. dissapointed, sad.. and of corse in the same time, i felt guilty.. sorry ibu, for not been there when u need me.. sorry ibu, couldn't have the opprtunity to help you.. sorry ibu, if i act wrongly,, sorry ibu.. for leaving u.. sorry ibu.. sorryy..

this is the only things i regret.. for turning away from my ibu side.. if i knew, this will be happen,, i wont come back during this CNY..

gee seem worried.. giving "dont talk to me" looked.. yeah, im felt the same.. but, im in da middle of the problems.. worried about DAs, and my ibu feeling..


with the dua, and all the efforts, tears and fight.. we're been able to get through dat..

on 14 feb, we try to go around teluk intan, praying to buy the spare part.. my heart saying that it would be impossible to find it,, it's impossible.. but, we wont give up, and waiting around.. making the sad face when someone wishing something from us.. thus, at the afternoon,, with all the sweat that come out from our body.. with the maximum heat that of course will burned up our patience.. huh.. Ya allah, do help us~~

and finally,, after playing with the emotion_weird feeling..
and alhamdulillah after about 3 hours..
we manage to find a solution..

we entering a shop, a kimpal2 things>>
and then, there's a yellow STorm (this is a Car) going out..
luckily, he is the owner of the shop..
we try to ask for his help.. and even luckily.. he is trying to help us..
he try to call some of his friend,, searching for the
"honda city 1.3 water pump thing"..
after a while,, he give us his friends phone number..
yes.. his friend have that,, and he can come open up his shop, which is in front of the kimpal's shop..
ya allah.. thanks alot..

when there's none of my cousin, able to give some effort..
when my uncle at ipoh, doesnt even try to help..
when there are nobody can do something..
allah give us this kind chinese man..
who have, this kind of good heart..
whoe can help someone that he even dont know..
what a great heart Allah give to him..

and alhamduliillah,,
i can see gee's smile again.. after days without it..

this had teach somethings..
1) it cause alot of stress in my friendship..
2) making me wondering, who's the most important in my life
3) a blood relationship is not a guarantee to say that there's a person to ly on
4) i do love her.. and this make us stronger, matured..

@t LaSt Part 2

...jeng3,,alhamdulillah,,we manage to reach @ RnR ulu Bekam,,,huh,,,DAS make us panic so many time,,we parked DAs and open da bonnet immediately to cool the engine,,,we check the water again,,as we expect,,the water already empty,,urm,,gee went to toilet to wash her face,,she worried of sleepy while driving,,we took a rest 4 a while,,although everybody is 'hectic' and tired,,we still can lough 'sepuas2nyer'..huhuu.the lawak begin when..i'm very kalut to add da water into tank..Gee n my bro said.."relax bebeh,,DAS is still HOT,,don't touch IT!!!!"..suddenly gee said,,don't rush izat,,>,,just relax,,no need to punch card,,hahahhhaa..thats our 'penawar hati'..BUT,,so pity to raja,,her body temperature start to increase.she will get fever,,n TRAUMA,,. i'm very rushing because worry of being late arrive at home,,my mother n grandma so so so worry about us..it was a 1st experience we face with that condition,,

Fortunately,,my uncle reached at our place,,huhuuu..i'm feel so legaaaa,,,he wait us to start d journey together..after DAS already cool n with my full energy,,i put da water into tank..huhu,,finally,,DAS can move smoothly again,,we remind Gee to mantain da speed to avoid DAS hot n hot again...during the journey,,everyone looking at the temperature metre..hua3..alhamdulillah,,we arrived at BIDOR at 1.30am,,we wait raja's father to invite us,,luckily,,her father is expert in repairing the car,,he check DAS with full of kasih sayang,,he found that,,everything is ok,,alhamdulillah...and,,without waste our time,,,,

To bE cOntinueD...

at last (part 1)~~

at last,,

dapat jugak balik rumah..

arrghh..

a lot.. alot of fun, tears had happened..

first.. on 13 feb 2010..

we (izat, g, raja, jebon, huda) start our journey from kuantan to kuala lumpur at 1pm..

we talked, we laugh,, we share story.. chit-chat, yum22

arriving kL around 5..

but, after the karak highway, DAS suddenly overheat.. the tempereture arise till maximum..

huh,, wTF? why? why the sudden increase?

so, we decide to cool it down, we stop at the Rnr stop somewhere there (i couldnt remmember where is the place).

after an hour, we start our journey again, praying DAs had been cooled enough. Gee start to call her parents, asking why? they said that, maybe DAS couldnt stand the extreme journey..

so, we arrive at jebon house on 5pm, and the second incident happened..

when we start to wondering y DAS overheat, we ask help from Jebon's brother.. his brother do some routine checkup.. and told gee that mybe the radiator lik.. of course, i do start to worry.. we're at the midway of the journey. thus, all of us, except jebon, trying to wondering y it happened, and we start to staring at DAS bonnet.. looking the engine, radiator and all the internal machine.. hahaha.. then, suddenly,, a motorcycle come nearby raja, and start to snatch her bag!!!!.. ya!! he trying to steal the beg. raja fall, and we start to "kerumuni" her.. start to ask her why she fell without noticing that she had been "ragut".. raja say "org tu tarik beg farah".. and immediately i look around, seek for the motorbike.. i couldn't see the plate number.. then, jebon'bro come out.. (he go seek fr the water when the incident happened).. of course, all of us frightened.. it's a trageic moments.. raja had hurt her face, had some bruise on her leg,, and some others "calar2"... so, after finishing the asrar prayer, jebon's Bro brought raja to clnic and do the police report..

on 7pm, we start our journey again.. we drop off huda at lRT Pandan indah's station had take my bro along.. so, we start our journey.. living the ampang to Duke highway..

BUT, again.. something occur... WAaaa.. again, DAS overheat.. after filling DAS with water at Jebon's house, after 15 MINUTES.. it start to OVERHEAT again. waaaaa.... we stop at DUKE, and start to worry if DAS can be brought to PERAK.... i feel so scared.. i have nobody here.. and, its my fall to bring Gee back to my hometown.. we stop around 2 hours there.. calling for help.. my brothers had turn to the Duke's office, to ask any help.. and he manage to get a mechanic numbers.. the mechanic come around 845pm,, and start to examine my lovely das.. wahwahwah.. suka2 jer dia cakap.. the gasket broke.. and he may able to finish repair the car tomorrow!! tomorroww...... NO>> NO>>> NO>>>>!!!!! i just start to cry.. where's my uncle? aunties? no... there are not there.. i just here on my own responsible.. without them by my side.. hmm,, g start to call for her friend.. and alhamdullilah.. there's somebody may help.. the mechanic wont leave the place.. he just pushing gee to just repair the car.. and go back tomorrow.. and at last.. alhamdulillah, with the advice, du'a.. we just drive das slowly to travel another 2 hours.. we manage to keep das cool for about to hours.. and the journey to bidor begin on 10pm....

slowly.. slowlyy.. g drive DAS 80Km/h only.. and alhamdulillah, the temperature didnt increase untill another 1 and half hour... when we need only another 19km to arrive at bidor, the tempereture start to increse again.. yes... it was a nightmare.. there are alot of cars there.. how the hell we can stop by, and just living the car at the middle of highway with alot of cars?? i just wondering, how far is the next RnR station?? how far? can das manage to go there? or it will die overheat,, and been burned?? nauuzubillah..

slowly.. gee try force das.... tolerating with the situation..

and.. huh,, it's only another 5km.. during the journey.. it's the most far 5km~~ hehehe..

we stop at the station at 12am..

~~~to be continued~~~

tunggang terbalik~~~ upside down!!

huh,,

what a long weeks..

on monday 8 feb

im having my peadiatric presentation..

what a sad days,

all the lecturer are not happy.. upset with our presentation..

besides,, SAJ had said that our batch is one step below the previous batch..

$%^&!! i dint know what to say..

of corse..

i do feel the same thing..!!

after failing the mid term paper,, i think, this is the only way to repay the mistake..

unfortunately,, i cant!! all over is upside down.. nothing can be done.. N.O.T.H.I.N.G

then, today when i having the class with MLA,,

suddenly, the class seem to quiet.. it TOO quiet.. everyone looked sad, upset, unhappy,

no more laugh,, no more chit chat,, no more asking question..

confius~~

we're not trying to repay back on how their comment with our presentation..

going to trow tantrum..

hehe.. no~~

it just.. we're all in a dilemma~~

what is wrong?

where is the mistake?

i do admit that, i didnt archive the target that they want..

yup,, lagging behind..

far behind~~

so,,

what i need to do??

new goals!!

50 HOURS per subjects!!

go.. go.. go!!

my mum advice: let bygone be bygone~~ dah jadikan, nk buat macamner,, ??

yes,, i know my mum feel the same thing.. upset..

i do promise to her, that i will keep the good work..

giving my full comittment..

and i will prove..

prove that i CAN be a BEST audiologist..

yes.. A BEST!!

~my pead's result..~~

yup,,
my peadiatric paper..
H.A.N.C.U.R!!!!!

even though,
i do study hard..
i do understand the concept of her teaching
i do revise a lot
i do discuss with my friends,
i do have my own study group..
i do read alot.. books, notes, journals..
i do understand everything..

but, i still cannot perform..
my result shown that!!
it shown that..

i do miss some part..
i do miss some important concept
to use a precise words..
i couldn't remember the notes that she given.. totally
i only understand the small ideas.. not the whole concept
~a key word!~

when my friends feel anxious with the lecturer..
feel sad and anger..
i didnt feel the same things..

"manjadda, wajadda~~"
who works hard, he will strive..

mybe, i need to recheck on the way i study
i need to keep up a good work
i need to revise MoRE
i need to read aLOT
i need to understand dEEPER..
i need to
i need TOO!!

to those who strive,,

congratulations.. ~keep up the good work!!~~

for those who didnt..

it still early, let repay the mistake!!

my buddy said,,

"eventhough we failed.. soon, we will be an AUDIOLOGIST!!"

(ps: don't try this at home, pliz..(0_0).. xoxo)

a new task is coming~~

today, after the screening class, Sr Marina had told us to start making the working paper for our screening programme..

conducting our own screening programe??
a bit hay wire here..

speechless.. can i do this screening?
i haven't done the real test with the real human yet!!
i just practicing the method of testing with the software lately.. (it's bee around 3 month i didnt done any..)

scared..
i dont have any confident yet..
huwa~~~

luckily,
it's a team worked
an alhamdullillah..
i'm having this kind of weird friends that always standing beside me..
supporting me.. Thanks guys~~

insyaAllah..
it will be done.. (o_0)

~where's my soul? spirits?? i suffered the lazydiziness~~

after coming back from the mid breaks, i suffer this kinds of disease..
slowly, starting to harm myself..

i couldn't study
i could not focus when read books
i could t finishing my homework..
a bit chaos inside here..



sleepy..
easily get tired..
huh,, i miss my mom
alot...

yeah..
im having this homesick symptoms..
y?
it been almost 1 month, i didnt see her..

oo ibu.. i miss you

your words will relieve my soul

oo ibu,, i miss you..

your advise will fire up my spirits..

oo ibu.. i do love you

do pray for me here.. mmuahh

~yeay.. now im having my own Blog~~

its 430 am in the morning and i still couldn't sleep.. i'm doing my assignment, and start to felt bored.. huh!! why my eyes couldnt close..

turning to the internet,, playing around.. chatting with some ghost out there.. since all the Malaysian is sleeping.. therefore, i deciding to create this things..

what for?
i don know..
maybe to share some thought.. ideas..
anger, love, and everythings~~
every single thing that happen in my live

i'm hoping to gain something..
it's all about to learn something.. Insya Allah